What’s Left Behind

A few weeks ago I visited the mechanics institute in Ballarat to view some of the collection of botanical specimens compiled by Ferdinand von Mueller over 100 years ago. These books were distributed around Victoria as educational guides and Ballarat was lucky to have scored a couple.

As I was looking through the specimens what I found most striking was not the actual specimens, although very well preserved and beautiful, but on some of the pages there was an outline of the plant from the pressing resulting from some moisture that was still present at the time, resembling a shadow of the plant, a ghost, a trace of what was there…

This got me thinking about what traces are left behind from our lives, all those objects and ephemera we collect along the way.

I often go op shopping or visit secondhand shops and find old photographs left in frames, which is so sad. When a person dies and there is no family left or family have the mammoth task of going through a house to decide what should be kept and what should be donated, things disappear, memories of that person become displaced.

Memories of a person can become a little like a shadow on a page, they can start to become fuzzy around the edges as time passes and disappear completely when there is no light source.

I like the idea of hanging on to a memory through objects, these objects become the light source. Whether the objects are from Nature or made by someone, these objects are an important medium through which to remember. My friend Emma used to collect a feather whenever we went out for a walk and since her death, when I see a feather on the ground I think of her and see the joy it brought her.

So, this is the basis for some new things that I have started to make. In-between working and life commitments, I will be giving myself time to focus on work that doesn’t have a price tag attached to it. Whether I show the work I’m doing or not isn’t important at the moment, I just want some time to create in a consistent way which I have missed for a very long time.

It seems to me that everything has been commodified, including creativity. But the thing is, our best work doesn’t generally come from the expectation of making a sale, our best work comes from wanting to share how we see the world around us because nine times out of ten, someone else feels the same way too and that’s how we connect to one another.

These ideas will be realised with my preferred mediums of clay and metal, and I’m looking forward to sharing some outcomes with you soon.

Connective Tissue

When I left high school all eager to get out of the small town I grew up in and ready to be my own person I got into a University course in Sydney which, for its time was very progressive, this was 1992. The course was Social Ecology, there were very few lectures, it was more about experiential learning, group discussions and action research projects.

Quite a leap from high school where it was all about rote learning and exams. I was one of about 3 or 4 high school leavers and the rest of the students were mature age.

I definitely felt like a fish out of water and lost what little confidence I had as a learner. But, little by little and with the support of the facilitators and the other students I began to realise that this way of seeing the world, of discussing all points of view, of reflecting on my own learning through journal writing, or using poetry to express my learnings and frustrations, suited me.

One of the many things I took from this experience was the simple exercise of making mind maps, of jotting down words all over a page and seeing connections.

I use this technique 30 odd years later in my craft practice. Words seem to be my starting point, always, the visuals come later.

The words help me to see beyond the material matters and techniques, they help me solidify what I want to say. I’m not talking about making any particular statement with my work, or maybe I am, but more of the essence behind it, where its roots lie.

I can also be quite technique driven, especially when I am experimenting with an idea but the words are what help me get started.

I like writing, although I’m slightly self conscious about it, but I like the act of it. I used to write a blog for many years and because of my insecurities, I permanently deleted all its contents a couple of years back. I wish I hadn’t, so now I’m investing time in it, again. The more I write, the more comfortable I am with it. Writing helps me solidify why I do what I do and also find a way of expressing my creativity, peeling off the layers until I get to the core of why I choose the subject matter I choose.

My job as a creative or artist or whatever has always been to see the threads that connect an idea. The connective matrix of a light bulb moment, how do I translate that into making jewellery and objects?

I’m finding that the two main culprits are usually Nature and the human condition. I see parallels constantly, and this is what I would like to explore in the next twelve months and beyond.

This new body of exhibition work that has been brewing in my head is slowly finding its way on to the page.

So, I am now at a point where I will be mapping out jumbled words and phrases and seeing where they take me over the next few months.

I haven’t been feeling that excited about all that much throughout this year. To be frank, it’s been a shit show of emotional, financial and physical health rubbish I want to leave behind. But, that being said, I feel a tiny twinge of excitement, like maybe, just maybe I’ve got more to give and that makes me feel okay.

A conduit for love

We hang on to all sorts of things in our lives for many reasons. For instance, a relationship might make us feel safe, bring us comfort from all the worries of the world, but not bring us fulfilment. We might want to prove ourselves to others in the workplace, show everyone that we can handle the stress of the job just like our colleagues, so stick it out even though it’s clearly making us feel unhappy.

Who benefits from this kind of stubbornness, pushing against the current, day after day? I have been thinking about this a lot over this last week while I have been lying sick in bed. Mind you I did do some binge watching in-between. Stanley Tucci’s Searching for Italy was something I’ve wanted to watch for a while, so I indulged myself too. But, what I have been thinking about is that this year I have had a great deal of trouble letting go.

My best friend died around this time last year and I haven’t figured out how to live my life without her. She was so funny and brilliant and smart and loving, there is now a massive hole to fill and I haven’t got the energy to lift the shovel. When people talk about grieving, it’s kind of like “take your time” with an undercurrent of “hurry up, life goes on”. I suppose that us grievers will just have to take as much time as it takes and may never fully be out of the grieving circle. It might not hurt as much, but loss is loss no matter what.

I was contemplating on stopping my jewellery practice and getting a ‘real’ job because I just couldn’t create anymore. Well not to the capacity I have done in the past. But, then I got a call from a friends husband who wanted me to make his wife (my friend) a ring and then I realised something, this thing I do, making rings and pieces of jewellery for people is not necessarily all about the thing I make, but about the stories that I get to hear of how much a person is loved. I then get to imbue a little bit of that into the piece I make and that is so wonderful.

Jewellery can be a conduit for love, as it’s something that is worn so close to our skin and so often. It can mark a special or sad occasion. It can be worn to express our individuality or just to make us smile. Jewellery can give us confidence, it can become a talisman to protect or ward off evil spirits. Jewellery is so much more than just a status symbol. Maybe, for me it’s a way of letting go or perhaps making room for other things. I like the idea of making room rather than letting go, making room to be creative and take time to listen to other peoples stories.

Woowookarung - Place of Plenty

I’d like to begin by respectfully acknowledging the Traditional Owners of the land on which I live and work, the Wadawurrung people of the Kulin Nation and pay my respects to Elders past, present and emerging.

Finding time to explore concepts and ideas for new work can be tricky when running a creative practice. I was very fortunate to receive a Creative Inspiration Grant from the City of Ballarat and Regional Arts Victoria to give me time to spend in a beautiful bushland area at the doorstep of Ballarat called Woowookarung, Place of Plenty.

Woowookarung is a 641 hectare nature reserve that was opened to the public in 2016 and is a haven for native flora and fauna, it is certainly a ‘Place of Plenty’.

My mornings began with taking a walk through the Dementia-friendly Forest and Sensory Trail, the first thing that hit me each and every time was the intense and distinct smell of the eucaplyts, a minty, sweet smell. The mornings were crisp and often misty, the bush was slowly waking up as the sun hit the tops of the trees, it was divine.

With my trusty camera in hand, I would focus each time on something different, opening my gaze upwards or focusing on the tiny details that presented themselves to me on the forest floor. Trying to capture the atmosphere or purely documenting what I saw.

Further up from the Dementia-friendly Forest and Sensory Trail, as you are heading to the lookout, I found, what would turn out to be one my favourite trees, it had been completely attacked by the Eucalyptus Borer, the tree looks to have been under stress, a perfect tree for the borer to take up residence. But what strikes me is the trails these borers leave behind, perfect little paths, they are quite beautiful.

Adjacent to the lookout is the grass tree trail, Woowookarung is covered in grass trees (Xanthorrhoea). Watching the movement of the grass trees is mesmerising, delicate and poetic. The word Xanthorrhoea comes from the Greek word Xanthos and means ‘to flow’. Very apt when referencing the grass tree itself.

After each visit I would write down some words and phrases that reflected my time there.

A long, gentle journey

Turning my focus inward

To flow

Reflection of light

Golden outlines

Movement

Repetition

Texture

Patterns, paths, poetic

Unfurling

Unravelling

Rhythm

Having the time to undertake this fieldwork has been invaluable. This experience has given me so much in terms of informing new work but also in highlighting how Nature can provide the opportunity to slow down, to take my mind off all the difficult things attached to running a creative practice, to bring me back to why I do it in the first place.

Woowookarung is a place that envelopes you with its smells, light, sounds and details. I am excited to begin new work that references my time there and am grateful to have had the time to explore and experience this Place of Plenty.